Right. I’m going to need you to do something for me.
Next time someone posts a motivational carousel telling you to “find your passion and live your best life!” — close the app, put the phone down, and go make yourself a brew.
Because if you’re a neurodivergent late bloomer who’s spent years feeling like everyone else got handed a life manual that somehow got lost in the post, that kind of content isn’t helpful.
It’s just noise. And you’ve had enough noise to last a lifetime.
Here’s what I want to tell you instead: purpose isn’t some grand, glittering revelation that lands on you one morning like a bolt from the sky.
It’s simpler than that. Quieter than that. And it’s probably already closer than you think.
So What Actually Is Ikigai?
Bear with me here because I promise this isn’t going to be one of those faffy, wishy-washy exercises that leaves you more confused than when you started.
Ikigai (pronounced ‘eee-key-guy’) is a Japanese concept rooted deeply in their culture and history. ‘Iki’ means ‘to live’ and ‘gai’ means ‘reason’. Put them together and you’ve got your reason to live. Simple as that.
As Ray Charles once put it: “I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene.”
That’s ikigai in a nutshell. The thing that’s already in you, itching to get out.
Now, the full ikigai framework has four elements:
- your passion (what you love)
- your vocation (what you’re good at)
- your mission (what the world needs) and
- your profession (what you can be paid for)
And before your brain starts fizzing, no, you don’t need to figure out all four at once.
Start with just two: what you love and what you’re good at. That’s it for now. The rest can come later, once you’ve got some momentum going.
Start With What Makes Your Heart Sing
So, what actually makes your heart sing? Not what you think it should be. Not what your mum thinks it should be.
- What is it that makes time disappear?
- What would you do even if you didn’t get paid for it?
These aren’t trick questions. They’re the starting point.
For me, it’s singing in a choir every week and borrowing two dogs (Maggie and Arti), from their owners a couple of times a week via Borrowmydoggy.com.
I don’t get paid for either of these things. Neither of those things is a business strategy. Neither of them is going to get me on the telly (well, the choir might if I’m in shot). But both of them get me away from my laptop, away from my day job, and feeling genuinely good about life.
And that’s the point. Purpose doesn’t have to look impressive on paper. It just has to feel right to you.
For the vocation piece — the what-you’re-good-at bit — ask yourself:
- what are your biggest strengths (aka superpowers)?
- What do you do naturally that others seem to find bloody hard?
If you get stuck thinking about this, there’s a free VIA Character Strengths Survey at viacharacter.org to get you going. No faff, no cost, just a genuinely useful insight into what you’re wired for.
Proof It’s Never Too Late
If you’re sitting there thinking this ship has already sailed — it hasn’t. Not even close.
Take Ruth Thompson, who launched her passion business Hugs Café in her late fifties after 15 years working with special needs adults. Zero prior business experience. Zero hesitation about starting late. She’s now 66 and running a thriving non-profit that empowers adults with special needs to build better lives for themselves.
Or Grandma Moses, who didn’t pick up a paintbrush professionally until she was 78. Seventy-eight. She’d spent decades working on a farm and raising a family and only started painting because her hands had got too arthritic for embroidery. Her work now sells for over a million quid. Not bad for a late starter.
The idea that there’s a right time to find your purpose, and that you might have missed it, is one of the biggest lies society tells us.
Especially for those whose brains work a bit differently and who’ve spent years trying to fit into systems that were never designed with you in mind.
Finding Joy in the Little Things (It Counts More Than You Think)
Here’s something that gets lost in all the “hustle your passion” chat: purpose doesn’t have to be a world-changing business or a life-altering mission.
- Sometimes it’s a Wednesday evening choir rehearsal.
- Sometimes it’s a blind, arthritic dog having a little trot round the park with you.
- Sometimes it’s finally writing the blog post that’s been sitting in your drafts for three months.
Every single step you take towards joy and meaning — no matter how small it looks from the outside — is purposeful. Full stop.
And for those of us with chronically overwhelmed brains, starting small isn’t settling. It’s strategy.
Because the more you do the things that light you up, the more you’ll wake up each day feeling like you’ve actually got somewhere to be. Something to look forward to.
And that — slowly, steadily — is how a life that’s built around your purpose starts to take shape.
Your Practical Takeaway
If you want a proper starting point, do the free ikigai test. It takes about 20 mins and helps you map out where your passions, strengths and values overlap.
Think of it like tuning a guitar — you’re just finding the notes that are already there.
And if you’re still stuck on the vocation piece, revisit that VIA Character Strengths Survey.
Between the two, you’ll have more than enough to start getting a feel for your own unique ikigai — no life overhaul required.
Your Playlist for This Chapter
Because every good journey needs a soundtrack:
🎵 The Man in the Mirror — Michael Jackson
🎵 Don’t Stop Believin’ — Journey
🎵 Better Get to Livin’ — Dolly Parton
Stick ’em on, have a little think and see what comes up.
Ready to Go Deeper?
This is just a taster. My debut book, Sing Like No-One’s Listening is packed with honest, practical (and occasionally sweary) encouragement for late bloomers who are ready to stop waiting and start living — on their own terms and in their own time.
If you’re UK based, it’s available to order right now directly from this website, or you can grab it on Amazon.
👉 Order your copy of Sing Like No-One’s Listening
The world needs your voice – sing out loud and proud, and don’t hold back.
Let’s gooooooo late bloomers! 🎤